How To Deal With Anxiety

how to deal with anxiety

How to deal with anxiety


One of the most common reasons that people seek therapy is to for how to deal with anxiety. People often believe that they have no control over it. Although we understand that it might feel like that, it actually couldn’t be further than the truth. We might ‘blame’ something for ‘making us feel anxious’. However, the ‘something’ isn’t responsible, it’s how we are viewing it.

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is a natural response to what someone might view as a stressful situation. However, in some cases, worry can become irrational, excessive or chronic. This can lead to the sufferer fearing certain everyday situations.

The condition of increasingly persistent anxiety is called ‘Generalised Anxiety Disorder’.

Other anxiety-related disorders include panic attacks (severe episodes of anxiety that occur in response to specific triggers). Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) which consists of tireless intrusive thoughts or compulsions to carry out specific behaviours. Such as hand washing or checking the door is locked.

Typical anxiety consists of exaggerated worries and an expectation of an unknown situation ending negatively. This is often accompanied by a number of physical symptoms, such as nausea, headaches, palpitations muscle tension and frequent urination. These can differ by individual.

Anxiety can become a problem if it impacts on your ability to live your life as you want to. For example, if:-

Feelings of anxiety are very strong or last for a long time
Fears or worries are out of proportion to the situation
You avoid situations that you believe might cause you to feel anxious
Worries feel very distressing or hard to control.
You find it hard to go about your everyday life or do things you enjoy.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is an anxiety disorder can be potentially be disabling. People suffering with OCD become trapped in a pattern of repetitive, irrational thoughts and behaviours. Left untreated, a severe case of OCD can destroy a person’s ability to function at work or school.

Panic Disorder

A person with panic disorder experiences sudden and repeated episodes of intense fear. This is often accompanied by physical symptoms such as chest pain, heart palpitations or breathlessness. Those who suffer from panic disorder often develop phobias about places where previous episodes have occurred. They also develop fears about experiences that have set off previous attacks, such as taking a flight.

What Causes Anxiety?

Life Events

People commonly experience their first panic attack during stressful periods in their early or adult life. For example experiencing pressure at home, work, relationships or financial problems, bereavement, or illness, all lead to higher anxiety levels. When people’s anxiety levels are heightened, they are more likely to experience panic attacks.

In reality, it’s possible that a combination of these factors play a role in the development of anxiety or panic. CBT for anxiety focuses less on what caused the anxiety in the first place and more on what stops someone dealing with it and moving beyond it.

Evolutionary Reasons

People may develop anxiety because of evolutionary factors. It’s argued that evolution may have primed us to develop fears around certain dangerous situations, because of the benefit this would have brought in the past. For example, being in situations where escape is difficult would have posed a threat to people back in primitive times as they could be cornered by predators. Similarly, open spaces would also leave people vulnerable to attack. By having an inbuilt tendency to fear these scenarios, people would be more likely to avoid them and keep safe. In other words, we may be predisposed to become anxious and panicky in certain situations to encourage us to avoid them.

Thinking Styles/Core Beliefs

More often than not, when people experience anxiety, they start to develop a thinking style that lends itself to experiencing symptoms of anxiety or panic. Those who have a tendency to misinterpret symptoms of anxiety and panic as dangerous are more at risk. For example, thinking that anxiety symptoms are the beginning of a heart attack can cause anxiety to rise further until it reaches the point of a panic attack.

Similarly, people who believe that they are going to have future panic attacks are actually more likely to do so. They look out for signs and as a result, notice small symptoms of anxiety. The then misinterpret in the way described above. Additionally, people develop a thinking style that tells them that they are ‘unable to cope’ with certain situations or the feelings of anxiety or panic.

What Keeps Anxiety Going?


People tend to avoid or run away from situations that they believe will trigger anxiety or a panic attack (e.g. trains, restaurants, public talking the cinema etc.). Although this may be an understandable way of coping, it’s actually one of the main reasons that people find it difficult to overcome anxiety. This is because, by avoiding certain situations, you prevent yourself from having the opportunity to prove that you can actually tolerate the feelings better than you think you can.

Also, the longer you have been afraid of a situation and the more you have avoided it, the more daunting it becomes and therefore increasingly difficult to face. Not only this, when you avoid one particular situation, you may well begin to doubt that you will cope in similar situations and start avoiding more and more. Before long the fear reaches such a level that that your life becomes extremely restricted.

Using Safety Behaviours

Often, the only time that someone experiencing anxiety feels capable of facing their feared situations is when they use – what is known as a ’safety behaviour.’ An example of this might be, only going out if you are with someone you trust (who you think can ‘come to your rescue’ if you panic). Or gripping tightly onto a shopping trolley to reduce the chances of panicking. Basically, a safety behaviour is anything you do to try and make it easier to cope with your fears.

Although using safety behaviours might lead you to believe that you are able to cope with your anxiety or panic, this is only in the short term. In the long term they are particularly unhelpful. This is because, like avoidance, safety behaviours stop you from having the opportunity to prove to yourself that you can cope with your fears, without putting such precautions into place. Instead you might put any success down to other factors such as “I only coped because I had my friend with me” and your fears remain in place. Before long your become reliant on these safety behaviours and avoid going places when you are unable to use them.

Increased Self Awareness

Another factor that helps keep anxiety going is the tendency to be hyper vigilant. This means that your study your body for any sign of physical changes that may suggest a panic attack is on its way. Although you might do this to try and reassure yourself that everything feels normal, this strategy actually makes things worse. This is because you tend to notice small physical changes that would have otherwise gone unnoticed, such as feeling hot, for example. Once a small change has been noticed, you naturally ‘keep your eye’ on it. However, the more you focus on a change, the more anxious you become and a vicious cycle begins that can lead to a panic attack.

Alternatively, if you notice a change due you might try and escape the situation that you believe has triggered it. However again, this strategy is short term and particularly unhelpful in the long term.

You may well be able to identify with some of the above and some not. However, in general it will be a combination of all the above factors that play a role in keeping your anxiety going.

How CBT and Counselling can help

It’s not a situation in itself that causes us distress, it’s how we view it or what our beliefs are about it. For instance, if someone has a fear about going in a train, they blame the train for ‘making them feel anxious’. However, to put that in to perspective. If the train were really responsible for evoking anxiety. Why aren’t we all anxious when travelling on a train?

Research shows, that the most effective treatments for anxiety use with either counselling or cognitive behavioural therapy. Firstly, to try and understand when or why the anxiety first started. Secondly, to challenge any underlying distorted thinking patterns and change unhelpful behaviours.

This means gradually exposing sufferers to the situations they fear. It’s not until someone changes their behaviour in response to their irrational beliefs that they will start feeling better for the long term.

Both Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and counselling helps people view the feelings of panic in a different way and demonstrates how this will in fact reduce the anxiety.

if you would professional help for how to deal to with anxiety. Please contact us at CBT and Counselling Kent today.  Request an appointment


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How to deal with anxiety counselling

How to deal with anxiety

One of the most used search terms people use when looking for counselling online is ‘how to deal with anxiety’. So we understand what a problem anxiety is for a vast number of people and what a negative impact in can have on your life.

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is what we feel when we are worried, tense or afraid. Particularly about things we think could happen in the future. The “what if’s” in life. Anxiety is a natural human response when we perceive that we are under threat, experienced through our thoughts, feelings and physical sensations.

Anxiety is all about threat and danger (either real or imagined). The fear you experience becomes irrational and out of proportion to the actual threat itself.

We are aware that people can make themselves anxious about almost anything. Such as dealing with work, their relationships, health, walking into a room full of people, flying and so on. An anxiety disorder is a cover term for a variety of neuroses where anxiety is the predominant emotion. Anxiety disorders include the following: More about anxiety

Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

You may be diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder if you have felt anxious for a long time and often feel fearful, but are not anxious about anything in particular. The strength of symptoms can vary.


A phobia is an extreme or irrational fear or aversion to something. If you have a phobia, your anxiety will be triggered by very specific situations or objects; such as spiders, heights, and flying or crowded places, even when there is no danger to you. For example, you may know a spider isn’t poisonous or won’t bite you, but this still doesn’t reduce your anxiety. Likewise, you may know that it is safe to be out on a balcony in a high-rise block, yet feel terrified to go out on it or even enjoy the view from behind the windows inside the building.

Many of us have fears about particular objects or situations, and this is perfectly normal. A fear becomes a phobia if it lasts for more than six months, and has a significant impact on how you live your day-to-day life.

Panic disorder

Panic attacks may sometimes occur for no reason and you may not be able to understand why. You may feel as if your mind has gone totally out of control. When you experience panic attacks that seem completely unpredictable and you can’t identify what has triggered them, you may experience panic disorder because the onset of panic seems unpredictable, you may live in fear of having another panic attack.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviour are typical for this disorder. You may, for example, have obsessive thoughts about being contaminated with germs or fear that you have forgotten to lock the door or turn off the oven. You may feel compelled to wash your hands, do things in a particular order or keep repeating what you are doing a certain number of times to ward of the thoughts and anxiety.

Social Anxiety

Is the fear of interaction with other people that brings on self-consciousness, feelings of being negatively judged and evaluated, and, as a result, leads to avoidance.

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

If you have experienced or witnessed a very stressful or threatening event, e.g. war, serious accident, violent death or rape, you may later develop post-traumatic stress disorder. You are likely to experience flashbacks and have dreams about the event, and these are likely to trigger strong anxiety and feelings you experienced during the actual event.

Separation Anxiety

This is an excessive and debilitating fear of being away from home or away from the people you care about.

Situational or Anxiety

This includes performance anxieties, such as exam nerves, fear of public speaking, stage fright and psychosexual dysfunction, or a fear of life changing events, such as getting married or changing jobs.

Help with how to deal with anxiety

if you would like some help with how to deal with anxiety. Contact us at CBT and Counselling Kent today. Don’t let anxiety control your life anymore. Take back controlRequest an appointment

Further reading on anxiety help and self- help

Making Friends with Anxiety’ A warm, supportive little book to help ease worry and panic – by Sarah Rayner (2014)
Free Yourself from Anxiety’ A Self Help Guide to Overcoming Anxiety Disorders’ by Emma Fletcher and Martha Langley (2009)
‘Overcoming Anxiety’ – A Self-Help Guide’ by Helen Kennerley (1997)

Charity Helpline

Anxiety UK – Information, support, and a dedicated helpline for UK sufferers and their families. Anxiety UK Link Helpline – 03444 775 774


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